Suggestions and advice — from casual to careful

There’s a difference between suggesting (putting an idea on the table) and advising (telling someone what they should do). English has separate phrase families for each, and within each family, the level of pressure varies from gentle nudge to strong warning.

The trap for Russian speakers: defaulting to You must or You have to, which sound much harsher in English than in Russian. You should is usually as strong as you need to go.

Suggesting — putting ideas on the table

A suggestion offers an option. It implies take it or leave it. The phrase you choose signals how casual or formal you’re being.

Friendly / casual

• Why don’t you…? — common, friendly. (Why don’t you try the salmon?)
• Why don’t we…? — group version.
• How about [V-ing / noun]? — extremely common.
• What about [V-ing / noun]?
• Let’s… — direct invitation. (Let’s get coffee on Tuesday.)
• We could… — soft, open. (We could try the new place.)
• Maybe we should… — soft.
• How does [day/idea] sound?
• What do you say we…? — folksy, warm.

Tentative / gentle

• Have you (ever) tried…? — gentle nudge toward something.
• What if we…? — exploring.
• Have you considered…?
• One thing we could try is…
• It might be worth [V-ing / noun].
• Just a thought, but what if…?

Slightly formal

• Shall we…? — slightly formal in AmE; more common in BrE.
• Perhaps we could…
• I’d suggest [V-ing / noun].
• I’d recommend [V-ing / noun].
• May I suggest…?

Advice — telling someone what to do

Advice is stronger than a suggestion. You’re saying I think this is what you should do. The verbs should, ought to, had better, and would (do) signal escalating levels of urgency.

Standard advice

• You should… / You shouldn’t… — most common. Neutral, friendly.
• You ought to… — slightly old-fashioned but still used; same strength as should.
• I think you should… — softer.
• I’d recommend [V-ing].
• I’d suggest [V-ing].

Hypothetical advice (the classic)

• If I were you, I would… — textbook conditional 2 (note: were, not was).
• If I were in your shoes, I’d…
• In your position, I’d…
• If it were me, I would…

These are very common, very polite — they put you mentally in their situation.

Stronger / warnings

• You’d better… / You’d better not… — strong, often a warning of negative consequences. (You’d better leave now or you’ll miss the train.)
• You really should…
• You need to… — direct.
• You have to… — strong; in English, often stronger than in Russian.

Soft / questioning

• Have you considered [V-ing]?
• Have you thought about [V-ing]?
• Have you ever tried [V-ing]?
• What about [V-ing]?
• Maybe you could try [V-ing].
• It might help to [V].

AmE casual advice

• You might wanna [V]. (= might want to)
• I’d give it a shot.
• Why don’t you give it a shot? — Give it a shot = try it.
• Just go for it.
• Take my advice — [V].

Asking for advice

When you’re the one seeking input:

Casual

• What should I do?
• What would you do?
• Any advice?
• Got any tips for [X]?
• I could use some advice on [X].
• I’m not sure what to do — any thoughts?
• Got a sec? I need your advice.

Neutral / formal

• Could I get your advice on something?
• Would you be able to advise me on…?
• I’d appreciate your thoughts on…
• I’d love to hear your perspective.

Receiving advice

When someone gives you advice, you don’t have to take it — but you should respond graciously.

Accepting

• Good point.
• That makes sense.
• I’ll think about that.
• Thanks, I’ll try that.
• That’s actually a great idea.
• I’ll keep that in mind. — polite acknowledgment without committing.
• You’re right, I should do that.

Soft pushback

• Hmm, I see what you mean, but I’m not sure that’ll work for me.
• I appreciate it, but I think I’m gonna stick with my plan.
• That’s a fair point, though I’d worry about [X].
• I’ll think about it. — non-committal.

Mini-dialogues

Dialogue 1: planning a weekend

Friend: Got any plans this weekend? You: Not really. I want to do something but I don’t know what. Friend: How about hiking? The weather’s supposed to be perfect. You: Hmm, maybe. I was thinking of trying that new brunch place. Friend: Why don’t we do both? Brunch Saturday, hike Sunday. You: That actually sounds great. Let’s do it.

Dialogue 2: career advice

You: I’ve been thinking about leaving my job. What would you do? Mentor: If I were you, I’d take my time. You should line up the next thing before you quit. You: That makes sense. Mentor: Have you considered talking to your manager first? Sometimes you can negotiate something. You: I’ll think about that. Thanks.

Dialogue 3: tech support

Coworker: My laptop won’t boot. You: Have you tried restarting it? Coworker: Several times. You: You might wanna try resetting the SMC. If that doesn’t work, you’d better take it to IT before the demo. Coworker: Good point. I’ll give it a shot now.

Register table — same intent, three levels

AmE-specific phrases worth memorizing

• You might wanna… — casual advice (want to → wanna).
• Give it a shot. — try it.
• Just go for it. — go ahead and do it.
• Take my advice — [V]. — direct.
• What do you say we…? — folksy, warm suggestion.
• It might be worth a shot. — gentle suggestion.
• You’d better [V] / or [consequence]. — strong warning.

Common Russian-speaker mistakes

1. Defaulting to You must / You have to for all advice: this sounds harsh. Use You should or If I were you, I would.
2. Saying If I was you instead of If I were you: in advice, the subjunctive were is standard for all persons. If I were you, I’d…
3. Translating советую тебе as I advise you to: technically correct but stiff. More natural: I’d recommend / I’d suggest / I think you should.
4. Confusing Why don’t you…? with a real question: it’s a suggestion, not an inquiry into reasons. The reply is Good idea / I’ll try that, not Because I’m too tired.
5. Skipping to after should (translation calque): You should to go → You should go. No to after modal.
6. Using Let’s with we: Let’s we go → Let’s go. Let’s already includes we.
7. Over-using I advise you: in casual conversation, I’d suggest / Why don’t you / Have you tried are warmer.

Summary

• Suggest = put an option on the table: Why don’t you / How about / What about / Let’s / We could.
• Advise = tell what to do: You should / I’d recommend / If I were you, I would.
• Stronger advice / warnings: You’d better / You really should / You have to.
• Hypothetical: If I were you, I would… (always were, not was).
• Asking for advice: Any tips? / What would you do? / I could use some advice.
• AmE casual: You might wanna / Give it a shot / Just go for it.
• For Russian speakers: don’t default to must / have to — should is enough.

Next lesson: Complaining, sympathizing, and encouraging.